the DiFFerenT World

Aaj toh likhna hee tha,reason jab kuch ehsaas ho tab likha jaye toh kehte hai shabdo me bhi jaan aa jati hai,woh bhi jeene lagte hai ,kehne lagte hai apni hee zubaan mein....


Har din,har pal socha is baar kya likhu...? Mann mein khayal bahut the .....par words nahi mil rahe the kya likhu ..?
Hum itne ehsaason se ghire hai lekin fir bhi Hum mehsus nahi karte kyun?
Hum kyun aise ban gaye hai samajh nahi ata?Kya ho gaya hai humein door bhag rahe hai asli zindagi se..?
Jidhar dekho koi pane mein laga koi khone me rootha hai.Zindagi itni bhi mushkil nahi hai jitni humne use bana rakha hai,bus jeene ke tarike aur sochne ka andaaz sahi ho toh sab sahi hone lagta hai hum yeh samajh nahi pate.


Mere dimang  mein is waqt bahut  saare thoughts hai i want to paint dem on canvass.I wish i cud ,I want to live with them forever.
Roz sochta hu kis duniya mein aa gya hu ,Kya Main galat hu ya yeh duniya galat hai....ya jo Main kar raha hu woh galat hai..?Kya kare sochne ki bimari jo hai to b honest bahut kammal ki bimari hai,iske bina jeena jaise tumhe zindagi jeene ke sahi mayne hee nahi maloom hai.




Ek baat batao agar main ek putla banau usmein Dil daalun,Dimang daalun,woh sab kuch daalun jo jeene ke liye zaruri hai par cheezon ko mehsus karne ki ability na daalun toh kya banega.........."21st CENTURY KA INSAAN"
Haa dukh hai mujhe ,is baat ka ki kuch hadd tak main bhi aisa hee banta ja raha hu.May be forcefully.Bus achha nahi lagta jab log swaarthi ho jate hai.Main khud bhi ho jata hu kya karoon ocean me swimming toh main bhi kar raha hu.Jaha hazaron swimming kar rahe hai lakhon sapne aur armaan liye.
Kyun humare liye aaj kuch bhi zaruri nahi hai siwaye humari zaruraton ke.?
Kyun hum jeena seekh rahe hai bina insaano ke jabki humein pata hai hum unse hai wur woh humse?
Bahut sawaal hai roz poochta hu mastermind se jo betha hai apne XBOX par dekh raha hai humein.Aur har baar haar raha hai apne hee banaye huye game mein,Woh bhi bina kisi opponent ke.
Roz dua yehi karta hu bus yaar ab waqt aa gaya hai naya Game develop kar de ab aur nahi jhele jate iske Extreme Graphics.High Defination mein problem hai.VGA hee sahi the kum se kum reality toh mehsus hoti thi.Ab toh sab kuch hee artificial hai.Aisa lagta hai serial mein kaam kar rahe hum sab log jinhe payment milega for acting in any kinda of relationship.




Aaj ghar ki bahut yaad aa rahi hai ,want to feel the home breeze and the terrace walk.
Mujhe ghar par sabse accha pal tab lagta tha jab Mummy school jati thi.Mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai main bahut chhota tha.Mummy instructions de rahi thi 


Mom:nasta kar lena table par rakha hai...
Me:haa kar lunga..
Mom:bai se kaam kara lena 1 baje ayegi..
Me:haa ab jao aap mujhe sona hai...


Aur main kabhi nahi sota tha lolz...its kameena me...bachpan se...star movies, cartoons,TV is the ancestor of facebook if we talk about the pastime.Shayad jaldi mature hone ka karan yeh bhi tha.Main life ko samajhne laga tha,duniya ko bhi.Loneliness at its best its not always bad it can teach you anytime and believe me many things which u badly want to learn.
Tab se duniya aur mera 36 ka aakda hai.Even knowing the fact i cannot survive widout it...still i dont like it...
Life aisi hee hai kuch insaan humari life mein thoda bhi bura kar jaye hum poori duinya ko galat maanne lagte hai jabki aisa nahi hai hum sab jaante hai.Hum insaan hai galti karte hai aur hum sabse hoti hai.
Farak kaha hai...kuch chhoti karte hai kuch badi ...kuch ehsaas se judi hoti hai kuch nahi....bus jo takleef de jaye.... woh insaan ko  galat kar jati hai and ultimately duniya ko bhi galat kar jati hai.
Khidki par bitaye woh pal aaj bhi yaad hai mujhe,jab akele ghar mein darr lagta tha.Toh khidki par akar beth jata tha apni saari hotwheels lekar.Ghaanton bitaye hai us khidki par ,khidki se humara garden dikhta tha and birds jo humare veranda mein dhoop sekte the.I was observing people and i started thinking and learning it was the first learning phase of my life.

Mere zindagi  ke woh pal kabhi nahi bhool sakta i love dem and i cherish them.not becoz i was alone but becoz those moments gave me the capability to live a life in a kinda of world now where substance has zero value,where emotions are termed as "style statement" where thinking is said a past time or an idiotic sense.

Jaanta hu excess of anything is harmful,even if its thinking but thodi burayi toh ab mujh mein bhi hogi na.Raat mein i miss the days when sonu (my pet) and me used to go for a walk.Uske saath bahut achhe pal hai jinhe yaad karke ek dard hota hai jise bus mehsus kiya ja sakta hai bayaan nahi.Hum dono raat mein walk par nikalte the after dinner,use sab batata tha ,sab kuch share karta tha jo Main Mummy se bhi nahi kar sakta tha.Though i share every damn thing wid her,aur woh sunta tha dhyan se aur apna sar akar mere ghutno me rakhta tha bus us waqt lagta tha yeh mehsus karta hai but express nahi kar sakta and we humans basterds express kar sakte hai mehsus nahi karte.
Pata hai kyun jo characteristics aaj se theek dus saal pehle hum insaano mein the ab woh animals me visible hai.Main jab bhi usse door hota hu ek hee cheez sochta hu waqt nahi rukega mere liye aur woh chala jayega tab kya....?tab kya.....?tab kise...?yaha pune akar uska jawab milne laga hai "its you dammit".


Aaj bahut mann hai wapas juhu beach jane ka.Lehron par ek alag hee sukun milta hai.Duniya adhuri se poori ho jati hai jab samundra tumhare saamne apne haath felaye tumhe kehta hai kaho kya kehna hai...?daaldo apni saari baatein .Its a database when the world was created and also where the world will come to an end and you will be heard when a new beginning is planned for the new world again.
Chalo aaj ke liye bahut hai philosophy ka gyaan.Ghaar ki yaad me aisa hee hota hai lol...

My first Blog

writing my first blog .........kya likhu ?kaha se shuru karu...?the most important fact about wrting is it soothes you from inside whatever you write from your heart...

i use to write before also but den blogger was not my tool there poems instead ,i use to write in a diary and made sure that its hidden from mom but we all know we just cant hide anythng from our moms they can beat einstein in physics and james bond in investigation.

this blog will definitly help people added in my facebook account who face my status updates tortures coz of the fact i will pouring my detailed thoughts in this blog.

toh ab kya likha jaye..since i will be honest to my blog i will right everything whatever i feel and experience each day .

4th jan,2011,on phone

mom:had lunch..?

me:na

mom:y..?

me:mann nahi hai..

mom:aisa kya hua hai..?

me:(shouting) kuch nahi hua hai ....aap batao aap kaise ho...khana khaya apne..?

mom:i know kya hua hai tujhe ...the same reasn....n u always throw frustration on me ...(phone down)

Mujhe aajtak samajh nahi aya ki meri life mein itni tragedy kyun hai...jiske liye itni dur hu ,jiske liye yaha tak pahucha hu uska dil humesha dukhata hu....m so stupid...even knowing the fact that i am hurting her...but she is the only person who knows me from inside and out.There is no doubt i love her more den anythng on dis planet but its unfortunate that m unable to show my love.

23 years ki life ke baad seriously lagta hai ab bus bahut ho gaya....vimal stop now aur kitna pareshan karega khud ko..?mummy ko ....?..

Realisation hai mujhe ...i know evrything problem implementation me hai...koshish toh bahut baar ki hai but falied as many times.Mom says i want you to get settled asap...either bring a gal of your choice or i have many options in my social circle for you.?

kya jawab du iska....?jis aim ke liye itni journey ki use nahi chod sakta,woh jo keh rahi hai kuch haddh tak sahi bhi hai ....sometimes its pathetic for me to handle myself....main duniyadaari kya dekhu main apneaap me hee ulajh gaya hu.Kitna ajeeb lagta hai na jo dusron ko suljhe huye advices deta hai khud ki zindagi ko suljha nahi sakta.....philosophy ka yehi maza hai boast as much you can you dont need to proove it with trials.

SIIB journey of 8 months in total

1.m not talking to any of my friends in rajasthan or from my university.reason-mann nahi hai

2.m not interested in my past which is a good thing-reason-busy wid Hectic schedule here

3.i have become more tough from inside when it comes to staying away from family.i hate dis one.reason-welcome to corporate world.

4.m getting closer to my aim.reason-SIIB

i have been an totally devoted observer to human behaviour since my childhood may be my upbringing has to do sumthng wid it i dont knw.But this has really helped me in understanding the relationship aspect of human nature with few occurances finally leading to conclusive reaction by them in various incidents.Ek cheez jo maine notice ki over the decade woh yeh ki humara nature wahi hai jo pehle tha bus zaruratein or reasons badal gaye hai bus.

hinde mein likhne ka ek fayda hai bhavnaye achhi tarah vyakhta hoti hai-aisa mere ek hindi ke teacher kehte the...

one mre thing before i end my first blog i wud like to write

"rahimann dhaga prem ka mat todo chatkaye,

jode se fir na jude pade jo fir gaant padh jaye"

Bachpan mein pada tha implement aaj akar hua hai.....ek baar attachment aur affection mein thoda bhi imbalance hua na ki woh relationship gaya samjho....iska bhi reason hai

reltionship ke roots weak hai aajkal seeds hai-selfish motives from both the parties and water ki jagah-barter system kuch do toh kuch lo...ho gaya relationship ka tree tayar ,be of any kinda fruit frnship fruit ,love fruit etc.....iske baad jab fruit paka hua ya fir spoil nikalta hai toh log tree ko gaali dete hai....bhaisaab seeds aur water sahi formulation ke saath daale hote toh itni nauabt nahi ati.

Mere contexts me yeh doha main kitni baar bhi apply kar sakta hu reason yeh hai ki main bahut careless aur vulnerable hu.careless nibhane me nahi apne behaviour ke reasns ko lekar jinke liye m not open to anyone not even mom.And vulnerable isliye kyunki mujhse pyar se aap kuch bhi kara sakte ho kyunki m starving for it any moment at any time.

My first blog ends bahut likha re aaj toh