My first Blog

writing my first blog .........kya likhu ?kaha se shuru karu...?the most important fact about wrting is it soothes you from inside whatever you write from your heart...

i use to write before also but den blogger was not my tool there poems instead ,i use to write in a diary and made sure that its hidden from mom but we all know we just cant hide anythng from our moms they can beat einstein in physics and james bond in investigation.

this blog will definitly help people added in my facebook account who face my status updates tortures coz of the fact i will pouring my detailed thoughts in this blog.

toh ab kya likha jaye..since i will be honest to my blog i will right everything whatever i feel and experience each day .

4th jan,2011,on phone

mom:had lunch..?

me:na

mom:y..?

me:mann nahi hai..

mom:aisa kya hua hai..?

me:(shouting) kuch nahi hua hai ....aap batao aap kaise ho...khana khaya apne..?

mom:i know kya hua hai tujhe ...the same reasn....n u always throw frustration on me ...(phone down)

Mujhe aajtak samajh nahi aya ki meri life mein itni tragedy kyun hai...jiske liye itni dur hu ,jiske liye yaha tak pahucha hu uska dil humesha dukhata hu....m so stupid...even knowing the fact that i am hurting her...but she is the only person who knows me from inside and out.There is no doubt i love her more den anythng on dis planet but its unfortunate that m unable to show my love.

23 years ki life ke baad seriously lagta hai ab bus bahut ho gaya....vimal stop now aur kitna pareshan karega khud ko..?mummy ko ....?..

Realisation hai mujhe ...i know evrything problem implementation me hai...koshish toh bahut baar ki hai but falied as many times.Mom says i want you to get settled asap...either bring a gal of your choice or i have many options in my social circle for you.?

kya jawab du iska....?jis aim ke liye itni journey ki use nahi chod sakta,woh jo keh rahi hai kuch haddh tak sahi bhi hai ....sometimes its pathetic for me to handle myself....main duniyadaari kya dekhu main apneaap me hee ulajh gaya hu.Kitna ajeeb lagta hai na jo dusron ko suljhe huye advices deta hai khud ki zindagi ko suljha nahi sakta.....philosophy ka yehi maza hai boast as much you can you dont need to proove it with trials.

SIIB journey of 8 months in total

1.m not talking to any of my friends in rajasthan or from my university.reason-mann nahi hai

2.m not interested in my past which is a good thing-reason-busy wid Hectic schedule here

3.i have become more tough from inside when it comes to staying away from family.i hate dis one.reason-welcome to corporate world.

4.m getting closer to my aim.reason-SIIB

i have been an totally devoted observer to human behaviour since my childhood may be my upbringing has to do sumthng wid it i dont knw.But this has really helped me in understanding the relationship aspect of human nature with few occurances finally leading to conclusive reaction by them in various incidents.Ek cheez jo maine notice ki over the decade woh yeh ki humara nature wahi hai jo pehle tha bus zaruratein or reasons badal gaye hai bus.

hinde mein likhne ka ek fayda hai bhavnaye achhi tarah vyakhta hoti hai-aisa mere ek hindi ke teacher kehte the...

one mre thing before i end my first blog i wud like to write

"rahimann dhaga prem ka mat todo chatkaye,

jode se fir na jude pade jo fir gaant padh jaye"

Bachpan mein pada tha implement aaj akar hua hai.....ek baar attachment aur affection mein thoda bhi imbalance hua na ki woh relationship gaya samjho....iska bhi reason hai

reltionship ke roots weak hai aajkal seeds hai-selfish motives from both the parties and water ki jagah-barter system kuch do toh kuch lo...ho gaya relationship ka tree tayar ,be of any kinda fruit frnship fruit ,love fruit etc.....iske baad jab fruit paka hua ya fir spoil nikalta hai toh log tree ko gaali dete hai....bhaisaab seeds aur water sahi formulation ke saath daale hote toh itni nauabt nahi ati.

Mere contexts me yeh doha main kitni baar bhi apply kar sakta hu reason yeh hai ki main bahut careless aur vulnerable hu.careless nibhane me nahi apne behaviour ke reasns ko lekar jinke liye m not open to anyone not even mom.And vulnerable isliye kyunki mujhse pyar se aap kuch bhi kara sakte ho kyunki m starving for it any moment at any time.

My first blog ends bahut likha re aaj toh